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At DV Helpline we understand how difficult it can be if you are experiencing domestic abuse or other forms of violence. You might feel scared, isolated, and confused. You might feel ashamed or afraid to tell anyone about your situation. But you are not alone – there is support available.

The DV Helpline is a specialist provider primarily supporting women and their children, but men experience domestic abuse too. We may be able to help through our community support services; otherwise, don’t hesitate to contact The Men’s Advice Line, a specialist provider for male victims of domestic abuse. They will be able to support you and help you to understand your options.

At DV Helpline, we believe that everybody has the right to a life free from violence. Our professional staff is trained to work with everyone experiencing domestic abuse, including heterosexual, gay, bisexual, and transgender men. No one deserves to be abused by the person they love. Everyone has the right to be respected and live in safety.

It is important to remember that you are not alone, the abuse is not your fault, and some people can help you. Refuge runs several outreaches and independent advocacy services for male victims of domestic violence across the country.

It takes strength to admit that you are abusing your partner. But, if you want to change, you can.

Violence is learned behaviour. You can unlearn it – but you will only be successful if you can:

  • Accept responsibility for the abuse. You cannot blame your actions on your partner, drink, drugs, stress, or work.
  • Accept that the abuse comes from your desire to control your partner. Understand the ways you manage her and why you behave like this
  • Realise that you have a choice. You choose to be violent or abusive, and you can choose not to be
  • Accept that your partner has a right to live her own life without being dominated and controlled.
  • Stop using anger, violence, and other abusive behaviours to control your partner.
  • Seek help from professionals. Start by talking to your GP, who can refer you to a perpetrator programme.

Can anyone help me change it?

Perpetrator programmes exist to help men change their behaviour and increase the safety of women and children. Programmes usually consist of small groups of men from a range of backgrounds.

Group sessions look at the causes of violence and abuse, helping men understand why they are violent. Men are asked to take full responsibility for the misuse and recognise the impact of their violence on their partners and children.